I Couldn't Grow Up

I Wasn't Able to Grow Up is the 58th chapter of the SERVAMP manga series.

Summary
After being urged to form a contract by The Mother, Tsurugi becomes stressed and denies the proposition. He claims he does not have anything to give The Mother for a contract. The Mother points to Tsurugi's earring, suggesting he give her one, but Tsurugi mistakenly thinks she means he should give her one of his eyes. Before The Mother can correct him, Tsurugi rambles on about how other body parts would be better, contemplating an arm and a finger. He refuses to give an arm because it has scars and decides a finger would be best, since he has many.

The Mother gets Tsurugi's attention and tells him burdens exist in the world that should be shared with others, as well as things he must treasure. She tells him he needs to know the difference. Tsurugi asks her if she is angry, which she replies affirmative to. Tsurugi begins apologizing repeatedly and tells The Mother that he owns nothing other than his own body. Debris from the ceiling then falls and hits Tsurugi's head, causing it to bleed. This does not stop him from speaking, as he states how he always does what he is told in C3. He expresses that he has never made a choice or experienced anger or indignation. He tells her that he has given up on these things.

Tsurugi begins to cry and states this is why he was never able to grow up. He reaches out a trembling hand and asks if he takes it would be be able to change and leave the facility.

Before he can grasp it, however, he sees Toma's figure loom behind The Mother. While he is not actually there, Tsurugi is stunned and stares. He pictures time he has spent with Toma and believes he hears Toma telling him to do as he wishes.

Tsurugi becomes overwhelmed with guilt, bows upon the ground before The Mother, and refuses her offer to become her eve. More debris then begins to fall from the ceiling.